Neat! But TOO LOUD

Not much to add to this, except that we'll be trying to get Celine Dion to help us walk back from the Oval on Saturday night

More about sheds

America says NO to sheds. Our Miami correspondent is back from running coke across the Caribbean or buying pastel t-shirts to wear with a linen jacket, or whatever else it is they do over there, to join in the debate on sheds. Kent says:
Just buy a clapped-out white van and keep all your bikes and gear in it. It save a lot of loading and unloading, and you are always certain to have all of your shit, if you can just find it the the van
Kent goes on to add that the other convenient point about vans over sheds is that not only are they easier for picking up hitch-hikers in, but once you've murdered them it's easier to dispose of their mangled bodies wrapped in a roll of old carpet by throwing them out the back while doing a ton down the M4. To the best of our knowledge, you can't do that in a shed.
Next week, Curtis puts on his marigolds, does a bit of dusting and tells us why keeping bikes in the living room is the best.

REVIEW: Iron Horse Sunday

Here's Jonny's new bike, which he's paid a lot of money for. Now if we were anybody else you'd now have to sit through four or five interminable pages of some bigheaded (and walleted) nitwit trying to justify his new purchase by telling the world about how much better it makes him than any other bike could.

Since this is Stopadoodledoo, and since Jonny forgot to submit such a review along with the picture he emailed us, we can tell you that:

• It's alright as far as it goes


• In all honesty a 224 would probably be a lot better


• But at least it's in team colours


• And not all the paint has been rubbed off by the uplift truck fairies (yet)

* (By the way, when we say "uplift truck fairies" we haven't gone all MBUK and started pretending there's these weird elfin creatures hiding in the woods, grooming trails and scraping paint off bikes. No, we're just a bit cross at all the sour looking people at the last uplift day we went to, who got all cross just because young Dango chucked a fistful of mud at the truck when he couldn't get in. What did you think you were riding down? A mountain covered in Axminster and shiny new lino?)

Metal Cock / t-shirts

Here's a picture of a 800 pound metal cock, found in an architectural reclamation site near Ashford in Kent.

When you've finished looking at that, and when we get a load of spurious visits from people searching on Google for "800 pound metal cock", you might like to buy a t-shirt. We only have two Respect The Cock t-shirts left (both in medium, one Northern Scum green and one in bright red), but we're now wondering what design would be most popular to do next:

big blue supercock logo
STOPADOODLEDOO RACING in gold on black

Email james at stopadoodledoo.com or comment your votes on this post...

France 2006 - get the excuses in first

Where are the Stopadoodledoo team going to be riding in France this year? When? Who? Well, Jason has this report to make:

Don't think FG will be there as he wasted all his holiday entitlement by walking around Argentina for a month with one of his jolly chums who was probably called something like Nigel or Rupert and had a yellow stain in the 'bowl' of his underpants ("Ha !! We walked on a glacier, in a desert and in a rain forest. You nobhead.").

Hora is a buffoon and won't come out as he'll end up missing Lisa and Bingo the dog after 2 days, cry and then want to do something nasty to one of our bottoms ("I've got a double bed upstairs, Adam"). Plus, if he left Lisa and Bingo alone for too long, he'd have no dog left and she'd be muttering about something that tasted like chicken, and then poo out a red ribbon a few days later.

Curtis is going to be too skint until August as he appears to be paying off the national debt for Uganda, as well as sharing a flat with me (which means that he'll be drinking A LOT over the next few months).

Cushtie, whilst saying that he's going, will probably sign up for the Iron Man competition instead and spend a day running, cycling and swimming in his Cannondale lycra shorts, sweating profusely and questioning his sanity.
We (Cush and I) were talking about going out there for three weeks and hooking up with people along the way, but we discussed it when we were about 50 units into a ridiculously drunken night.

T-shirts

 

Feast your eyes on these great bits of cotton produce. RESPECT THE COCK t-shirts are on their way back from the printer, and coming to you at the bargain price of £12.50 each (+£1 P&P).


T-shirts are high quality Gildan cotton, in either L or XL. Both our models are wearing L, which come up surprisingly baggy.

Colours are: burnt orange (as worn by Cushtie) or dark olive (as shown off by Jason).
Front is printed with our hundred percent genuine "RESPECT THE COCK" logo, along with the Stopadoodledoo chicken and our oh-so-famous URL.

Back gets a larger picture of the Stopadoodledoo chicken, to impress your neighbours or terrify small children at parties with.

Be the envy of your friends, but hurry: stocks are limited and they're selling fast.

HOW TO BUY:

1. Give Jason or Cushtie £12.50 of cold hard cash, and they'll hand you back a fresh smelling, unworn t-shirt, in your choice of colour and size. This is easiest if you email Cushtie and find out where we are at the weekend.

2. Use the Paypal link to send us £12.50 per shirt + £1 P&P.
You'll need to tell us your name and address too, so we can post it to you.

SPECIAL BONUS: Every t-shirt you buy comes with a load of free Stopadoodledoo stickers.
You can be the envy of your friends with your bicycle/body/girlfriend adorned with slogans like 'I HATE DOLPHINS' and anything else we've persuaded our printer to do.
M Red:

M Green:

T-shirts are here now and waiting for your payment. (Mediums to ship to you from Friday 25th Feb)