Whatever happened to April Lawyer?
This interview gleaned a few details: when we found out that April ate the same breakfast for every race we immediately tried emulating her. Sadly, it was never made clear exactly what the secret 'egg concoction' is; Twelve Stone tried a dozen egg yolks in a pint glass, washed down with jam. Jason had an omelette and I missed the race because I was waiting three hours for my meringues to rise properly. Colin Newbury got salmonella and apparently you can't get eggs in Florida (well, that's what Kent told me - I reckon there's something suspicious about that, but I don't know quite what).
Mr Cushtie posted this at 10:32 am
1 Comments:
1. There are no eggs in Florida because the place is overrun by Fascist strychnine-drinking religious fundamentalists who believe that all life is sacred and must be protected. This belief extends even to unfertilized chicken eggs, but, alas, not to anyone who does not subscribe to their particular brand of hop-headed religious quackery. Non-believers can be enslaved and tortured, or killed in wack rattlesnake rituals and then eaten, either grilled or fried. No problem.
2. The last time I say April Lawyer, she was sporting the latest, not even released yet, super-secret, shit-hot fork from Fox. That product turned out to be the Fox 40, and is now on half of the bikes you see rusting at your local downhill venue. So, April must have been missing for at least two years. I heard she got her nose fixed and married a stinky-rich chicken farmer who subsequently lost all of his money due to a precipitous drop in the price of chicken (See #1 above.) and is now forcing her to dance in a strip club in Brazos, Texas for pocket change. So it goes.
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