You're all going to DIE!

There's a race in Sheung Shui this Sunday, and here's some of the somewhat worrying advice from the organisers:
"Recommend you to bring enough gels and salt tablets to get you thru the 2 hours as can guarantee many of you will start cramping up if you have not been doing much training or if you plan to attack the hills fast. High 5 gels will be giving out at the start (1 per person). Recommend 1-2 salt/electrolyte tablets every 30-40 minutes. Make sure you hydrate well this Friday & Saturday and do lots of stretching over the next few days to reduce cramping in the race"
No. Don't disrupt your normal routine. Consider cutting back to 5 pints of lager on Saturday night though, and top off with a few Guinness for protein. High 5 gels are the spunk of the devil so don't go anywhere near them if you know what's good for you.
"The good news is that this course has lots of rocks mixed with dirt for good traction and as on a slope does drain good. However there might be at least 2 turns where water could build up (nothing serious you can't handle) that will create some mud. This means mud off your tires will go in your face so think about a system to stop mud going in your eyes. Bike fenders possibly or sunglasses? or just spraying water in your face with water bottle?."
Or sacking the whole typhoon drenched race off and staying at home on Sunday with a hangover? Nope, that's not going to happen. After all, they've got a giant white dog/dragon/THING waiting for you at the track:

Also, it's a 2.2km track. Not a route march through the peninsula. I thought the only people who needed salt tablets were ones with big trouble with their intestines, but let's see who's smiling on Sunday afternoon...

Specialized Rockhopper

Specialized's website says: "A star in our line-up for more than two decades, blah blah blah Rockhopper blah blah ultra-refined blah blah alloy frame blah blah the smart choice for anything from a flowing fire road to a fast singletrack"
FG says: Well, it’s a little different to my Giant XTC as it’s got more travel up front, but it’s a similar enough frame. Not sure what you mean about company-specced equipment as this rockhopper has been upgraded somewhat.
The components are decent enough and it looks like a regular-not-very-special bike. I’d get rid of the grips straight away but the rest can just be upgraded when broken. Can’t see whether the brakes are cable or hydraulic from the photo.
It should be ok for all-day XC. The TT is way too long for fun biking and I think it would corner like an oil tanker.

Mark that man's words. He works in Aberdeen with a lot of sailors, so he knows exactly what an oil tanker corners like.